Friday, February 12, 2010

Outlandish Elections!

That's right, noble readers, junior reporter Professor Outlandish is running for mayor of Hard Alley!

Of course every Mayoral candidate needs a platform, so here it is.

The Outlandish Party Platform:

1. Too much money is being spent on punitivie enforcement. Less cops on the street and more money to edutaction!
    A. This means making Hard Alley Reform School the best institution of its kind in the region.
    B. Additional money should go to vocational training for the Alley's most important careers: hooker, dancer, wage slave and freelance security professionals.

2. The public needs to know what's going on. Expect regular reports from the mayor's office on CMNF Naughty News.
I think you'll find my work there says more than any platform could.

3. Open door policy. If elected I will mainain regular office hours where I pretend to listen to the concerns of all citizens. Such concerns will be prioritized according to the amount of income they generate.

4. A dead sexy mayor who's not afraid to flaunt it!

The election will run all day on Feb 20th. Vote early, vote often and expect frequent news updates.


  1. I can't be certain, but I'm betting Hard Alley needs a Naughty Mayor. Good Luck Professor!

  2. What Zimmi said, adding if you get elected I hope you enjoy the ride!